© Colin Wilson - Ritual in the Dark

I… I like being alive. It sounds obvious, but it's true. I never stop wondering why I'm alive and worrying in case it's all a mistake… but for what it is, I love it. But the trouble is, I get tired. I think about it too much. And sometimes, if I'm lucky, some things give me back a sense of being glad I'm alive. A Mozart symphony, a hot frankfurter sausage in a cob, the smell of acetone. They revive my curiosity about living. They give me a new grip on being alive. Or sometimes a book does it. Almost never a person. I sometimes think people are the most uninteresting things in the whole universe. They only reflect the defeat I always carry around with me. Well… you're one of the few people I've ever met who arouses all the interest in me. I sense a lot of things about you that worry me a little — the crank, the fanatic, the pervert.